Only With The Help Of The Lord

by Kristen Gilles

in Coping With Miscarriage/Stillbirth/Death

The Birth Of Cain by Théophile Auguste Vauchelet, painted in 1831“Now Adam knew his wife, Eve, and she became pregnant. When she gave birth to Cain, she said, “With the Lord’s help, I have produced a man!”” (Genesis 4:1)

I have thought about Eve’s exclamation many times in the last few years. Before our son Parker was stillborn in October 2012, while I was still carrying him, I thought about how it would only be with the help of the Lord that I, like Eve, would produce a man.

After Parker died, I thought, “Still, it was with the help of the Lord that I labored and produced a little man who now lives with my Lord in heaven. The Lord helped me labor for 48 hours through the care of my husband and all the nurses and physicians who attended me and Parker.  The Lord helped by bringing sweet salvation to my precious boy as He received Parker into His kingdom.  Yes, it was with the help of the Lord…”

And now, as I carry our daughter and eagerly await her scheduled caesarean birth in November, I’m pondering again how she will also be brought forth with the help of the Lord.  I may not have to labor long and hard to deliver her, but she will be produced with the help of the Lord as He guides my doctor’s hands that skillfully wield the surgeon’s knife, and as He guides the hands of the anesthesiologist and all the attending nurses and physicians.

When I think of every woman who’s ever labored to produce life, I know that it has been with the help of the Lord.  How would it be possible without His help? Our children who live with us here would not be delivered into our arms, breathing, crying, eager to nurse and be known and loved, apart from our Maker’s help.  Likewise, our children who die in the womb or at birth or shortly thereafter or in early childhood would never be delivered safely into the kingdom of God, without the help of our Maker, Redeemer and Savior.

Think about Eve’s testimony for a minute. She was the first woman ever. The first to know a man. The first to be pregnant. The first to give birth. She and her husband Adam had no one but the Lord attending them as she labored to produce (or translated another way, to acquire) her son.  There was no precedent. They were it! There were no birth stories before this one. This was the first!  And what did Eve know as she held her living, breathing baby boy? She knew it was with the help of the Lord that she had acquired and produced this gift of life.

Why don’t we always know this, sisters and brothers? Why do we sometimes boast in our own strength as if we had made these children and delivered them ourselves? Why do we make others feel less because they cannot labor as long and hard as we have, or because they’re unable to conceive and carry children in the first place? Why do we think that we have somehow failed to fully triumph in labor if we didn’t get to have a natural childbirth but ended up having an emergency c-section or opting to schedule one in the first place? Why don’t we boast in the Lord who is our help?

Why don’t we realize that every child brought forth into our families is brought forth with the help of the Lord? Whether by ease of conception, or by natural birth, or through fertility treatments, or adoption, or foster care, or the blending of step families, the Lord is helping us.  He is giving us children. He is helping us to “produce and acquire” them.

And let us not forget that when He gives children and then takes them, He is still helping us and them.  Is not His salvation our greatest need and our greatest help?! And has He not done it? And won’t He help us who are left here grieving the losses of our children? Yes, He most certainly will.  With the help of the Lord we produce and acquire and receive and are parted from our children.

Let us then, always boast in the Lord who is our sure salvation and our greatest Help.

{ 1 comment }

ellieeugenia July 22, 2014 at 8:43 am

Your story saddened and encouraged me. I know you eagerly await to meet Parker again in the Kingdom. I have a lot of thoughts about this. I had no option for natural birth because I was induced both times because I had preeclampsia. Birthing drugs were my friend and no one should judge someone for their birthing option. Those that have lost children, struggle to have children, cannot have children would desire to have them in anyway they could natural or assisted. “A natural childbirth” is not of the utmost importance. There are so many people, women especially (in my own experience) that put their opinions about everything under the sun as fact and the standard that should not be challenged. One other example was I was only able to breastfeed for very short time, a week to a month with both of my girls, because of medical reasons, and there was a lot of shame associated with that at the time. Women would ask if I was breastfeeding and give me certain looks if not, or glaring eyeballs when I would give my child a bottle. Real silly stuff, and it doesn’t seem to get easier as they get older. Opinions about discipline, diet, clothing, schooling etc. I don’t care at all now because I know that there is Grace and that God intended me to be the Mother of these children, breastfeeding or not, natural birth or assisted, regardless what they eat, wear, school etc. I am thankful that God is granting me Grace daily to deal with the barrage of forceful opinions I encounter, whether it be family, friends or strangers. He has given me these children, he has entrusted me so I will search Him for wisdom to raise them, I will receive wise counsel from those I trust. I will tune out the rest of the negative noise because it’s not beneficial and not the truth. What you said above is truth, “boast in the Lord, who is our help”.

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