Strength To Worship In Every Season

by Kristen Gilles

in Coping With Miscarriage/Stillbirth/Death

For the last eight months since our son Parker was stillborn, Bobby and I have endured some very difficult situations.  There have been many “normal” life situations that could have been unbearable if not for the presence and grace of God.  He has been, is and will be our endless supply of strength and fortitude.  He has answered countless prayers for courage and for help rejoicing with those around us who are rejoicing to receive their babies alive and healthy.

That’s how we’ve been able to keep showing up, keep smiling, keep singing, keep writing, keep hoping, and keep welcoming more and more babies of our growing church and Smith/Gilles families.  All of these gestures are genuine because God goes before us, follows us, and remains constantly with us as He makes our way perfect and bears our sorrows on His own back.

We know that God is acutely aware of our sorrow and the challenges of being separated from our son, but it is encouraging to know that others are aware too.  This thoughtfulness is not at all lost on us. Thank you, dear brothers and sisters, for your continued thoughtfulness and prayers.

We know that many of you are suffering greatly and enduring hardships of many kinds.  It is an honor to be joined with you in Christ and we trust Him to intercede perfectly on your behalf through all who are called to pray and stand with you.  We can say with confidence based on God’s perfect promises that He will not fail, period.  He will certainly continue to prove all of His words true.  He will show you the wonders of His love and the riches of His sufficient grace.  We’re thankful that you will be given sharper visions of Christ through your suffering.  You will get to behold Him like many long to — but don’t get to — this side of Heaven.

Bobby and I regularly read Charles Spurgeon’s devotional book Beside Still Waters.  This week we read the following text and it stirred our hearts to persevere in praising God and encouraging others to do the same in their own suffering.  As much as we want to see you spared from pain and suffering, we praise God for giving you the grace to keep on singing and praising God.  We praise him for giving us that same grace to lift high His name in the midst of our own heartache.  He is faithful to help us sing when our physical and emotional strength fails.


“‘We will bless The Lord from this time forth and forevermore’ (Ps. 115:18). Our praise will never end. ‘From this time forth and forevermore’ includes eternity. We praise Him not in our strength but in the strength of grace. That strength will never be exhausted; it will be renewed day by day.

“If God takes you to the sick bed, if every limb becomes a mass of pain, if every nerve is a highway for crowds of pain to travel, keep on praising Him.  Continue to bless, praise and magnify His name.

“Even death cannot stop us from blessing God; it will only increase the heavenly choir and sweeten the harmony. We shall love The Lord more and praise Him better when our souls can speak without being hindered by our lips. Then we shall speak in a nobler and sweeter language before the throne of God:


My God, I’ll praise Thee while I live,

And praise Thee when I die,

And praise Thee when I rise again,

And to eternity.

Then in a nobler, sweeter song,

I’ll sing thy power to save,

When this poor lisping, stammering tongue,

Lies silent in the grave.”

This text made me think of our son Parker, and how his soul has never been hindered by his own lips in singing God’s praises.  He’s never been backward about it and never stammered in speaking the truth about our Lord.  Even death could not stop him from blessing our Lord.  It only increased the heavenly choir and sweetened the harmony.  Oh how I long to hear our precious Parker sing God’s praises!  Until then, I’ll join my voice with yours and Bobby’s and all the saints singing on this side of glory, and I’ll look forward to singing that greater song “When from my dying bed my ransomed soul shall rise” and “Jesus died my soul to save!” rends the vaulted skies!!


{ 1 comment }

Tera Laffin July 9, 2013 at 12:27 pm

Amen sister. I long to hear those sweet innocent voices as well.

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