Good Grief – Our Beautiful Baby Boy’s Walk Home With Jesus

by Bobby Gilles

in Coping With Miscarriage/Stillbirth/Death,Exhortations And Musings

The feet of Parker David Gilles, in his baby bear footiesKristen and I have felt such comfort from the many cards, letters, texts, visits, emails, tweets, Facebook messages and links to songs that you have sent to us in this week since Kristen bore our son Parker David Gilles into the immediate arms of our Lord. Thank you for grieving with us and for reminding us of the hope we have in Christ that we will see our son again, and forever praise God with him. And thank you for your continued prayers.

We want to share the following poem and short story with you, as they portray the lament and questions we’re facing, as well as our cause for joy. Kristen’s brother Ben Smith wrote the poem, “Beautiful Baby Boy,” which provided a perfect outlet for our grief and our limited ability to understand, at this time, how God will work this for our good. He read it aloud at our family’s graveside service.

My Aunt Charlean wrote the short story “Parker’s Trip Home,” which is a more accurate look at our final two weeks of family life with Parker than I would have thought possible, given that Charlean didn’t know the details until after she’d written the story and Kristen shared those details in her eulogy for Parker (these two weeks occurred while Parker was in the womb, of course – he was born exactly two weeks after his due date)

Beautiful Baby Boy
Written by Uncle Ben 

Beautiful Baby – Where did you go?
Why are you hiding? Your place is at home.

Beautiful Boy – No need to rush.
With hair this perfect who needs a brush?!

Beautiful Smile – Please let me see,
at least one time before you leave.

Beautiful Angel – Sent from above,
to kiss your face, oh how I’d love.

Beautiful Child – Please tell me what to do,
for I can’t see your eyes, or label the hue.

Beautiful Son — How I miss you so,
you went to a place and I can’t yet follow.

Dear Lord in heaven why did you take him?
Please make sure you remember to bathe him!

And give him all of the finest of toys,
At night tuck him in,
Our Beautiful Baby Boy.


Parker’s Walk Home
Written by Aunt Charlean


Heaven – January, 2012


“Yes, Father.”

“I’s time, son.”

“Oh, boy.  I. AM. READY.”

“Now, son.  You won’t be gone very long.  I’ll send your brother to come and walk you home.”


Heaven – October 2012


“Yes, Father?”

“It’s just about time to come home.”

“OK.  Could I have just a couple more weeks?  We’re going to go for some more walks, and football comes on tonight!”

“Sure, son,  have fun.”


Chapter 1

“Hey Parker, I’ve come to walk you home,” Jesus says as he takes Parker’s hand.

“Hi, Jesus.”

“Well Parker, did you have a good time?”

“I had the best time ever!” Parker says, skipping along, hand in hand with Jesus.

“Tell me all about it.”

“I have a Mommy, and a Daddy.  I have THREE – one, two, three – brothers.  I have a Nana, Papa, Granddaddy, Mamaw, Great Grandma, lots of uncles, and aunts, cousins, great uncles and aunts, great cousins –Oh I have a big family.  And … they all love me.”

“Of course, Parker; you’re easy to love.”

Parker and Jesus walk along a beautiful path for a little while, then Parker says, “Jesus?”

“Yes Parker.”

“Everyone was there when we left, and they were really sad to see me go.  They don’t get it, do they?”

“No, they have a hard time understanding.”

Parker and Jesus walk a few more steps, still holding hands and swinging their arms.  Parker asks again, “Jesus?”

“Yes, Parker.”

“Could you help them understand?”

“It’s already being taken care of, buddy.”

Chapter 2

Parker and Jesus continue walking along the beautiful path, holding hands and swinging their arms.

“Tell me some more about your trip, Parker.”

“I had the best time.  I got to go on lots and lots of walks with my Mommy, Daddy, and board games with them and my THREE, one, two, three, brothers.  We had such fun.

“I got to go swimming with my Mommy, too. I love to swim.

“My Mommy sings so pretty.  I really like to hear her sing.

“My Daddy sings too, but he’s quieter.  Except…when he watches football.  I really like football.  My Daddy would jump up and down when there was a touch down, and I’d jump too.  My Mommy would laugh.

“The food is really good.  I liked the food, except sometimes it’s really hot.  I let my Mommy know when it was too hot for me. Haha!”

“Sounds like you had a really good time.”

“I did.  I’ll tell you a little secret if you promise not to tell.”

“I promise.”

“Well, I played a little joke on my Daddy.”


“Yea, it was so funny.  See, my Daddy liked to rub my head and it felt really good.  But, sometimes I’d turn and he would rub my….butt!  HEHE  I’d have to giggle.  He didn’t know!!”

“Parker!  That’s a good joke!”  Parker and Jesus have a really good laugh.

Jesus and Parker continue walking home, Parker talking a mile a minute all about his wonderful trip.  “Football is the greatest!  I really like football.  Did you play any football?  You know something though, you need to do something about the refs, they don’t do so good, and it makes my Daddy mad.  I don’t think the refs talk with you enough, Jesus.  It’s a really great game, though. You see, there are a bunch of guys on two teams.  They have a ball that they kick and throw………    WOO WEE … “

{ 1 comment }

Lorie Spann March 1, 2013 at 3:05 pm

I just read this today and the story totally made me cry. What a sweet hope for those of us who are in Christ…Jesus is coming back to take us home, too! WE will get to laugh with him…and Parker. I love you guys. You’re on your way to my house as I type! 🙂

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