Why are these couples holding shoes? Just one of several "how well do you know your spouse" games we played at Redeem: Marriage
We talk a lot about church communications and how to share your personal testimony here at My Song In The Night, but do you realize how vital honest, open communication is to a marriage?
Recently Kristen and I participated in Sojourn’s Redeem: Marriage – Perfect Dreams, Shattered Dreams workshop, led by Counseling Pastor Robert Cheong and his wife Karen. For a recap, more photos, and the audio from Robert and Karen’s session, visit the Sojourn Counseling blog here.
Although the event featured dessert and dancing, in addition to two main sessions, perhaps mine and Kristen’s favorite part was a 30-minute “Heart Talk With Your Spouse” time that Robert and Karen built into the event schedule. It worked like this:
After the first session Robert and Karen invited each of the 100+ couples present to find a corner of the Midtown Campus building (known as The 930 Art Center) and simply talk with each other, working through these questions, which I hope you My Song In The Night readers who are married will work through with your own spouse:
Sojourn's Robert & Karen Cheong lead our counseling ministry and Redeem: Marriage events
Heart Talk:
- Confess or share how your focus on your shattered dreams or unmet expectations has hindered God’s redemptive work in you and your marriage.
- Share what keeps you from seeing your spouse as Christ does.
- Share ways you fail to love your spouse the ways Christ loves you.
- Share what may keep you from pursuing your spouse or from allowing your spouse to pursue you.
- Share how you struggle to forgive your spouse the way Christ forgives you.
- Is there anything that keeps you from praising God and celebrating his grace in your marriage? When is the last time you took time to praise him in this way?
- What steps of faith do you need to take so that you can join God’s mission of redemption, individually and as a couple?
Did I mention the desserts at this event were fabulous?
Next Steps:
- See and confess any sins against your spouse that the Lord revealed to you.
- Share how you see God’s grace in your spouse’s life.
- As needed, ask each other for forgiveness and forgive one another through the power of the cross.
- Express ways your spouse is a blessing to you.
- Pray and thank the Lord for his grace and for loving and growing you through your marriage.
Kristen and I love each other deeply and have a strong marriage, but we needed this, and we need occasional “Heart talks” and “Next steps.”
- I forget to express the ways in which Kristen blesses me in our home.
- I forget to pray for her sometimes when we’re apart.
- I take her strengths for granted.
- I gloss over differences of opinion because I don’t like conflict.
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